As it is Australia day I offer the following advice for those unfortunate enough not to live here. If you visit you need to know a few things:
1. Never, ever, try to say 'G'day'. Only Aussies can say this and not sound ridiculous.
2. If you want to try vegemite, spread a tiny bit on a cracker and build up from there. Only those who had it as children can take it thick.
3. If an Aussie says 'Fair Dinkum' to you at the end of a statement of fact, you can believe it entirely. No true Aussie would say 'Fair dinkum' in vain.
4. If you come to Brisbane and you want to do the beach thing, go to the Gold Coast. That is where unaccompanied foreigners are permitted. The Sunshine Coast is for us. If you are lucky, an Aussie (after s/he has determined your worthiness) may escort you to Noosa and surrounds.
5. No one born after 1956 has used the imperial system (called 'the old money' even when it deals with other imperial measurements of distance and temperature). Next year we will metricate the clock, set your alarm for 6.7 tomorrow!
6. Avoid using our slang, you probably won't get it right. Use all of your slang you like, we see enough foreign TV to understand.
7. Don't ask where you can get one of those cola bears.
8. If you see a koala on the ground, don't hesitate to give it a hug. Be quick though, those flashing claws can sting.
9. We have many of the world’s most dangerous animals for you to get to know. If you get to know one very closely, you will have the experience of travelling home in a box in the aircraft hold with all the bags.
10. If it rains, don't complain. You should see what happens when it doesn't rain for a year or so.
No comments:
Post a Comment